My sister got a divorce from her husband some 10 years ago. She has kids, and she decided to stay where she was--in the same 25 block radius as her ex- so that her kids wouldn't have to move and be the "new kid." It was a good thing for her to stay put, but I always wondered at her reasons.
I have only been the "new kid" a few times. And it has always been at a time and in a place where I am not the only "new kid." When I moved away from the only home I knew, it was for college. I was most definitely not the only new kid at the college. Everything was new, everyone was new, nothing was as it used to be. It was okay to be among the "new kids" at that time.
My husband and I have only moved from St. George to the Salt Lake area and back to St. George in order for him to finish his Master's Degree, so it wasn't much of a deal to be the new kid in those scenarios. I felt comfortable in St. George after living here for college. I grew up in the Salt Lake area, so it wasn't a big deal. When I moved into my newer house in St. George, it was a little different, but it was just fine.
I just wonder if some people don't deal well with being the new kid and I'm not one of those people. I know I'm not the girl who is afraid to meet people or make new friends. And I know that there are people who are fine with making friends when they get in a new situation, but they may still be apprehensive and uncomfortable with being the new kid.
Do some just never grow out of being uncomfortable with being the new kid? And am I just equipped with a different kind of gene that gives me the coping mechanisms to handle new situations (with embarrassment that I'm okay with) better than others? Hmmm....
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Cheap cheap cheap
My husband is cheap and extravagant at the same time. "Beer budget, champagne taste" as the saying goes. Man oh man do we pinch pennies. It's good. And lousy. One of the biggest things he hates to spend money on is food. And one of his favorite things to spend money on is food.
In detail: I go to the grocery store. I spend $200. I am feeding six people in my house, so I think this is okay. He hits the roof. And my ceilings are really high. BUT, if we want to go out to eat, he will not even waste his time on Carl's Jr. (which suits me fine because I don't need a 99 cent heart attack). He wants steak. And not Applebee's steak. He wants Gun Barrel steak. So if he feels the sudden urge for an elk steak, he can have it. Don't get me wrong because I enjoy a good steak, but I feel equally bad about a $27 heart attack as I do a 99 cent one. And I'm a fierce cook. If you don't like my cookin', that be yo' problem.
He is always looking for a bargain. He was raised by a yard sale man. I tell you what, I held a yard sale and it pained me to sell some of the stuff for a CHEAP as he marked it. I was in literal pain. After some of our things went so quickly, he did come to me and say, "Maybe we should've marked that up higher." I resisted the urge to say, "Yuh think?" He doesn't want me to spend money on clothes for him. He'll just keep living with the pants I bought him in the first of our ten-year marriage. (News flash, he's not a 30" waist anymore!) But he does want me to have nice clothes...not designer, but good looking. And the girls, too. We all must look nice, he must look shabby. And when we had to get a van because our family no longer would fit in our car that was paid-off, he opted for the new van with 3 miles on it. "There are good incentives to buy new right now!" He did get a killer deal. That's the yard saler in him.
Do you think we ever go to the movies? Ha ha--we do! Especially during the summer blockbusters. Do you think I smuggle in my own treats in a totally illegal manner in my purse? Ha ha again--I totally don't. We pay through the nose for the "meal deal" at the theater. We don't do matinees. We pay full ticket, new show, fresh popcorn price. But it is NEVER for a movie I would've chosen. Why? Because those "kissy-face" movies are the same on a small screen, but the action isn't nearly as intense or enjoyable from Red Box. He obviously doesn't feel for Hugh Jackman, or Colin Firth as I do. Then again, he is also straight so I hope he never feels the way I do for those yummy men.
There's just so much to enjoy about him. It is his cheapness though, that keeps us afloat in the poopy economy. So I guess, raise your (root)beer-filled champagne flute to the cheapy-cheap cheap people who enjoy what must really be worth the money.
In detail: I go to the grocery store. I spend $200. I am feeding six people in my house, so I think this is okay. He hits the roof. And my ceilings are really high. BUT, if we want to go out to eat, he will not even waste his time on Carl's Jr. (which suits me fine because I don't need a 99 cent heart attack). He wants steak. And not Applebee's steak. He wants Gun Barrel steak. So if he feels the sudden urge for an elk steak, he can have it. Don't get me wrong because I enjoy a good steak, but I feel equally bad about a $27 heart attack as I do a 99 cent one. And I'm a fierce cook. If you don't like my cookin', that be yo' problem.
He is always looking for a bargain. He was raised by a yard sale man. I tell you what, I held a yard sale and it pained me to sell some of the stuff for a CHEAP as he marked it. I was in literal pain. After some of our things went so quickly, he did come to me and say, "Maybe we should've marked that up higher." I resisted the urge to say, "Yuh think?" He doesn't want me to spend money on clothes for him. He'll just keep living with the pants I bought him in the first of our ten-year marriage. (News flash, he's not a 30" waist anymore!) But he does want me to have nice clothes...not designer, but good looking. And the girls, too. We all must look nice, he must look shabby. And when we had to get a van because our family no longer would fit in our car that was paid-off, he opted for the new van with 3 miles on it. "There are good incentives to buy new right now!" He did get a killer deal. That's the yard saler in him.
Do you think we ever go to the movies? Ha ha--we do! Especially during the summer blockbusters. Do you think I smuggle in my own treats in a totally illegal manner in my purse? Ha ha again--I totally don't. We pay through the nose for the "meal deal" at the theater. We don't do matinees. We pay full ticket, new show, fresh popcorn price. But it is NEVER for a movie I would've chosen. Why? Because those "kissy-face" movies are the same on a small screen, but the action isn't nearly as intense or enjoyable from Red Box. He obviously doesn't feel for Hugh Jackman, or Colin Firth as I do. Then again, he is also straight so I hope he never feels the way I do for those yummy men.
There's just so much to enjoy about him. It is his cheapness though, that keeps us afloat in the poopy economy. So I guess, raise your (root)beer-filled champagne flute to the cheapy-cheap cheap people who enjoy what must really be worth the money.
Friday, June 26, 2009
That doesn't apply to me
We are told many times and in many places the way we are to do things. There are rules and laws that govern our universe. And then there are those who would rather just do whatever they want and to heck with the rest of us who choose to follow the rules.
Dear people who think the rules don't apply to them: Those of us who merge when the sign tells us to merge don't care for those of you who merge at the very last minute nearly causing a crash for those of us who did as the sign said. Those of us who walk into the hospital during RSV season and read the sign that says "No one under the age of 14 allowed during this season" and; therefore, don't bring our children, get really irked by those of you who don't care what the sign said and just take your 2 year-old wherever you feel like it possibly causing entire groups of people to become ill. Those of us who read that the coupon only was available for use until the 15th of the month used it before the 15th of the month and are bothered by the fact that it's the 16th and we are standing behind you in line listening to you argue about how you still deserve the discount listed on the coupon. Guess what annoying people, THE RULES APPLY TO YOU!
I understand that as citizens of America, we have this chromosome that makes us feel better than everyone else (we do live in a great country), however, this entitlement isn't working for me or lots of others. I believe that if you stand in line, you deserve to get what you waited for. If you read the fine print, you warrant the benefit of your preparedness. If you take pride in a good deal fairly won, then hats off to you. On the other hand, if you feel success in skating by or capitalizing on others mistakes, shame on you.
The rules are there to protect us (signals are useful in cars) and to allow for fun and exciting things to happen (I love 25% off with an extra $10 off coupon). From now on, I assure you, I will not be the lady who is okay with someone cutting in line or cutting me off or choosing to ignore the signs. I will be the one who politely points out that I was already in line. I will be the one tossing my hands in the air when a car swerves into the lane in front of me with no rhyme or previous notice. I will be the one showing that the sign that is posted states blah blah blah and blah blah blah intends to be enforced. Hopefully if I am ever that lady to you, you won't walk away thinking unkind things about me. I'm just helping you understand that you are the only one who thinks, "that doesn't apply to me."
Dear people who think the rules don't apply to them: Those of us who merge when the sign tells us to merge don't care for those of you who merge at the very last minute nearly causing a crash for those of us who did as the sign said. Those of us who walk into the hospital during RSV season and read the sign that says "No one under the age of 14 allowed during this season" and; therefore, don't bring our children, get really irked by those of you who don't care what the sign said and just take your 2 year-old wherever you feel like it possibly causing entire groups of people to become ill. Those of us who read that the coupon only was available for use until the 15th of the month used it before the 15th of the month and are bothered by the fact that it's the 16th and we are standing behind you in line listening to you argue about how you still deserve the discount listed on the coupon. Guess what annoying people, THE RULES APPLY TO YOU!
I understand that as citizens of America, we have this chromosome that makes us feel better than everyone else (we do live in a great country), however, this entitlement isn't working for me or lots of others. I believe that if you stand in line, you deserve to get what you waited for. If you read the fine print, you warrant the benefit of your preparedness. If you take pride in a good deal fairly won, then hats off to you. On the other hand, if you feel success in skating by or capitalizing on others mistakes, shame on you.
The rules are there to protect us (signals are useful in cars) and to allow for fun and exciting things to happen (I love 25% off with an extra $10 off coupon). From now on, I assure you, I will not be the lady who is okay with someone cutting in line or cutting me off or choosing to ignore the signs. I will be the one who politely points out that I was already in line. I will be the one tossing my hands in the air when a car swerves into the lane in front of me with no rhyme or previous notice. I will be the one showing that the sign that is posted states blah blah blah and blah blah blah intends to be enforced. Hopefully if I am ever that lady to you, you won't walk away thinking unkind things about me. I'm just helping you understand that you are the only one who thinks, "that doesn't apply to me."
Monday, June 15, 2009
Who thought it was a good idea
I'm not sure what counsel I need to be part of, or what think tank thought it was a good idea...but I'd really like to know who thought it would be a good idea to start things when they do?
For example, I work the graveyard shift: 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. Babies come when they want, so someone has to do it, and I stay up late anyway, so what's the harm? Anyway, I came home from work just after 6 in the morning and got into bed only to hear the garbage truck pull around the corner about 10 minutes later. That poor garbage worker is out at quarter to too early collecting our junk. Who thought that was a good idea?
At the local college, I've been trying to make an appointment with a counselor to figure out what to do with some of my credits. I've stopped in twice and called twice and I have yet to meet my counselor. She happens to have meetings from 10 a.m. to noon and again from 1:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. The office opens at 9:30 a.m. and closes at 4 p.m. I don't know how I'm going to get her because this kind of schedule is what she keeps: meetings all day, orientations all day, vacations for weeks, luncheons that go before and after the lunch hour. I would love to speak with her, but maybe it's just not to be. Who thought that was a good idea?
I hate shopping with my kids in tow, so I tend to go later at night. The struggle I have is that when I go, there is stocking stuff everywhere. I understand that the store is open all night and they have to restock at some point, but really, I can't push a cart down the aisle. Maybe if the restocking happened after 11 p.m.? Who thought that was a good idea?
At any rate, life will go on. I will have my garbage out the night before it's collected because it's just too early to get it out there otherwise, I'll find someone on campus who can talk with me, and I will continue to steer my cart around the product in the aisle. I'm just wondering, who thought that was a good idea?
For example, I work the graveyard shift: 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. Babies come when they want, so someone has to do it, and I stay up late anyway, so what's the harm? Anyway, I came home from work just after 6 in the morning and got into bed only to hear the garbage truck pull around the corner about 10 minutes later. That poor garbage worker is out at quarter to too early collecting our junk. Who thought that was a good idea?
At the local college, I've been trying to make an appointment with a counselor to figure out what to do with some of my credits. I've stopped in twice and called twice and I have yet to meet my counselor. She happens to have meetings from 10 a.m. to noon and again from 1:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. The office opens at 9:30 a.m. and closes at 4 p.m. I don't know how I'm going to get her because this kind of schedule is what she keeps: meetings all day, orientations all day, vacations for weeks, luncheons that go before and after the lunch hour. I would love to speak with her, but maybe it's just not to be. Who thought that was a good idea?
I hate shopping with my kids in tow, so I tend to go later at night. The struggle I have is that when I go, there is stocking stuff everywhere. I understand that the store is open all night and they have to restock at some point, but really, I can't push a cart down the aisle. Maybe if the restocking happened after 11 p.m.? Who thought that was a good idea?
At any rate, life will go on. I will have my garbage out the night before it's collected because it's just too early to get it out there otherwise, I'll find someone on campus who can talk with me, and I will continue to steer my cart around the product in the aisle. I'm just wondering, who thought that was a good idea?
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Some People Just Don't Like Me
I am a people pleaser. It's who I am. I came that way. And the older I get, the more people I know. The more people I try to make happy.
At work, there are nights when I know that being who I normally am will irritate those I work with. It makes it more complicated for me because I am naturally loud (pick yourself up off the floor, I know you are shocked) and make random allusions to different movies or songs. The few people who completely get me throughout my life (the handful of them know who they are), can't be around me all the time.
At any rate, I came to the conclusion over the last little while that some people just aren't going to like me. There is a doctor that I work with who just doesn't care for my conversation topics--I'm positive that she doesn't read my column, either. I think I must be attracted to her last nerve and I just harp on it by being myself. I, luckily, don't have to work with her anymore because I drove her to retire (or she didn't want to pay for malpractice insurance anymore...probably the latter of the two).
The thing is, there are people out there that I don't understand. Or that I don't appreciate. There are people who make, what I consider to be, bad choices. Or who have all the luck. Any of these are reasons to not like someone...only that doesn't work for me. I honestly don't know anyone that I don't like because I just don't like them. It's just an unfathomable thing to me. Not liking someone just to not like them.
So, I appreciate those of you who understand me and like me anyway. You are loved by me. And those who don't like me, it's something I'm just going to have to deal with because there are some people who simply won't like me. It's their loss though because I'm a nice person. And a fierce friend. And I'd love to be liked.
At work, there are nights when I know that being who I normally am will irritate those I work with. It makes it more complicated for me because I am naturally loud (pick yourself up off the floor, I know you are shocked) and make random allusions to different movies or songs. The few people who completely get me throughout my life (the handful of them know who they are), can't be around me all the time.
At any rate, I came to the conclusion over the last little while that some people just aren't going to like me. There is a doctor that I work with who just doesn't care for my conversation topics--I'm positive that she doesn't read my column, either. I think I must be attracted to her last nerve and I just harp on it by being myself. I, luckily, don't have to work with her anymore because I drove her to retire (or she didn't want to pay for malpractice insurance anymore...probably the latter of the two).
The thing is, there are people out there that I don't understand. Or that I don't appreciate. There are people who make, what I consider to be, bad choices. Or who have all the luck. Any of these are reasons to not like someone...only that doesn't work for me. I honestly don't know anyone that I don't like because I just don't like them. It's just an unfathomable thing to me. Not liking someone just to not like them.
So, I appreciate those of you who understand me and like me anyway. You are loved by me. And those who don't like me, it's something I'm just going to have to deal with because there are some people who simply won't like me. It's their loss though because I'm a nice person. And a fierce friend. And I'd love to be liked.
Friday, May 22, 2009
All You Had to Do
Once upon a time there was a woman who was great. She worked hard, she did things well, she set goals and achieved them. She took care of others, was kind, was patient. She was a good friend and people genuinely enjoyed her.
Then she got sick. She was very ill and couldn't go to work. She couldn't do the things she did well. None of the things on her to do list were accomplished. None of her neighbors were tended to by her. She didn't have the opportunity to be kind and patient as she didn't see others. She was just too sick.
This was the time when she realized how nice it would be to have a friend like she tried to be to others. She wished that those who enjoyed her would reciprocate her helpfulness to them. She sat there, feeling sick and wondering what it had been worth.
Meanwhile, at work, the people she worked with wondered what was going on. They thought she must be out for a while. Her neighbors noticed that the little things she did weren't happening, so they did them themselves and they just wondered why she'd stopped doing these things. They just hoped they'd see her soon.
So, here's the problem: there is a woman who could use a friend and help; there is friends and help just waiting out there to be of assistance. And all either of them has to do is ask.
Sometimes, all we have to do is ask. Ask about that friend from work whom you haven't seen for a while. Ask about that neighbor. Make a call. Drop by and check. It is our responsibility as members of the human race to care for each other. And all we really have to do is ASK.
Then she got sick. She was very ill and couldn't go to work. She couldn't do the things she did well. None of the things on her to do list were accomplished. None of her neighbors were tended to by her. She didn't have the opportunity to be kind and patient as she didn't see others. She was just too sick.
This was the time when she realized how nice it would be to have a friend like she tried to be to others. She wished that those who enjoyed her would reciprocate her helpfulness to them. She sat there, feeling sick and wondering what it had been worth.
Meanwhile, at work, the people she worked with wondered what was going on. They thought she must be out for a while. Her neighbors noticed that the little things she did weren't happening, so they did them themselves and they just wondered why she'd stopped doing these things. They just hoped they'd see her soon.
So, here's the problem: there is a woman who could use a friend and help; there is friends and help just waiting out there to be of assistance. And all either of them has to do is ask.
Sometimes, all we have to do is ask. Ask about that friend from work whom you haven't seen for a while. Ask about that neighbor. Make a call. Drop by and check. It is our responsibility as members of the human race to care for each other. And all we really have to do is ASK.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater
My husband is ticked because his baseball team is out a player due to steroids. It got me thinking: what is it with all of these people using steroids to cheat? I think it's a tragedy that drug testing is even part of the athletic programs. If only these people didn't feel the need to cheat!
Cheating is one of those things that has been frowned upon for as long as I can remember. When I was very little, I wanted to win the board game I was playing, so I would try to cheat. My mother taught me from a tender age that cheating isn't the way to go about achieving. (I think that's actually what she said, "Cheaters aren't achievers!")
I was in grade school and had a kid talk to me during a test, the teacher told him to bring his paper to the front of the class so he could finish the test away from me, whom he was trying to cheat off of. (Never a good idea, by the way. It's not like I was getting awesome scores. Ever. I was a middle-of-the-pack kind of girl.) All through school, I had the pressure to be the best, but I was never tempted to cheat because the repercussions for such ranged from embarrassment to failing the class.
In college, I worked in the writing center and had to explain to the students I worked with that they needed to use quotes and cite sources properly or they would be cheating...or plagiarising. In some schools that was punishable by expulsion. In the real world, cheating like this is punishable by law. It's pretty serious.
In my real life (of boring-ness), I try to cut corners on projects or cheat my way through assignments and I always find that the result is not adequate. I make a blanket and try to cheat an easier way and always end up with a lower quality blanket than I would've had if I'd just spent the time.
And because I can't avoid one more obvious time when cheating is awful, just ask anyone who has had someone they love be unfaithful. That's all I'm going to say about that.
At any rate, Manny Ramirez (back to the baseball player)is going to be taking the summer off from sports for cheating and getting caught. There are so many more people who cheat and expect to get off without a penalty, but it never works out that way. Manny is going to lose money (in fines), lose face (in embarrassment), and lose fans (who hate cheaters, my husband included). It's tragic and not worth the consequences.
Cheating is one of those things that has been frowned upon for as long as I can remember. When I was very little, I wanted to win the board game I was playing, so I would try to cheat. My mother taught me from a tender age that cheating isn't the way to go about achieving. (I think that's actually what she said, "Cheaters aren't achievers!")
I was in grade school and had a kid talk to me during a test, the teacher told him to bring his paper to the front of the class so he could finish the test away from me, whom he was trying to cheat off of. (Never a good idea, by the way. It's not like I was getting awesome scores. Ever. I was a middle-of-the-pack kind of girl.) All through school, I had the pressure to be the best, but I was never tempted to cheat because the repercussions for such ranged from embarrassment to failing the class.
In college, I worked in the writing center and had to explain to the students I worked with that they needed to use quotes and cite sources properly or they would be cheating...or plagiarising. In some schools that was punishable by expulsion. In the real world, cheating like this is punishable by law. It's pretty serious.
In my real life (of boring-ness), I try to cut corners on projects or cheat my way through assignments and I always find that the result is not adequate. I make a blanket and try to cheat an easier way and always end up with a lower quality blanket than I would've had if I'd just spent the time.
And because I can't avoid one more obvious time when cheating is awful, just ask anyone who has had someone they love be unfaithful. That's all I'm going to say about that.
At any rate, Manny Ramirez (back to the baseball player)is going to be taking the summer off from sports for cheating and getting caught. There are so many more people who cheat and expect to get off without a penalty, but it never works out that way. Manny is going to lose money (in fines), lose face (in embarrassment), and lose fans (who hate cheaters, my husband included). It's tragic and not worth the consequences.
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