Cheap cheap cheap

My husband is cheap and extravagant at the same time. "Beer budget, champagne taste" as the saying goes. Man oh man do we pinch pennies. It's good. And lousy. One of the biggest things he hates to spend money on is food. And one of his favorite things to spend money on is food.

In detail: I go to the grocery store. I spend $200. I am feeding six people in my house, so I think this is okay. He hits the roof. And my ceilings are really high. BUT, if we want to go out to eat, he will not even waste his time on Carl's Jr. (which suits me fine because I don't need a 99 cent heart attack). He wants steak. And not Applebee's steak. He wants Gun Barrel steak. So if he feels the sudden urge for an elk steak, he can have it. Don't get me wrong because I enjoy a good steak, but I feel equally bad about a $27 heart attack as I do a 99 cent one. And I'm a fierce cook. If you don't like my cookin', that be yo' problem.

He is always looking for a bargain. He was raised by a yard sale man. I tell you what, I held a yard sale and it pained me to sell some of the stuff for a CHEAP as he marked it. I was in literal pain. After some of our things went so quickly, he did come to me and say, "Maybe we should've marked that up higher." I resisted the urge to say, "Yuh think?" He doesn't want me to spend money on clothes for him. He'll just keep living with the pants I bought him in the first of our ten-year marriage. (News flash, he's not a 30" waist anymore!) But he does want me to have nice clothes...not designer, but good looking. And the girls, too. We all must look nice, he must look shabby. And when we had to get a van because our family no longer would fit in our car that was paid-off, he opted for the new van with 3 miles on it. "There are good incentives to buy new right now!" He did get a killer deal. That's the yard saler in him.

Do you think we ever go to the movies? Ha ha--we do! Especially during the summer blockbusters. Do you think I smuggle in my own treats in a totally illegal manner in my purse? Ha ha again--I totally don't. We pay through the nose for the "meal deal" at the theater. We don't do matinees. We pay full ticket, new show, fresh popcorn price. But it is NEVER for a movie I would've chosen. Why? Because those "kissy-face" movies are the same on a small screen, but the action isn't nearly as intense or enjoyable from Red Box. He obviously doesn't feel for Hugh Jackman, or Colin Firth as I do. Then again, he is also straight so I hope he never feels the way I do for those yummy men.

There's just so much to enjoy about him. It is his cheapness though, that keeps us afloat in the poopy economy. So I guess, raise your (root)beer-filled champagne flute to the cheapy-cheap cheap people who enjoy what must really be worth the money.