We Both Wiped a Tear Drop From Our Face

The title of my post is a lyric to a song. It talks about the tears we cry for different reasons. This week, I cried for the loss of my husband's grandmother.

Darlene Stout, or "Grandma Dar" as we affectionately called her, was the only grandma I got to enjoy. My parent's parents died before I was born, or when I was too young to enjoy them. Grandma Dar was involved in my life. When I first met her in Las Vegas, Spencer and I were dating. We went down for his cousin Amy's wedding and Grandma was extra kind from the moment I saw her. She had a cheery expression. She loved everything about me--it seemed. She told Spencer if he didn't marry me than he'd have to work very hard to find another woman to take the place I'd created in her heart. (Not a direct quote, but that was the gist.) I love her and am grateful that my kids got to know Grandma Dar.

So, what other things cause a tear drop to be wiped from my face? A beautiful song. Music is just a way to get into my soul. A beautiful moment. That hug after the fight or the cute kid holding hands with her dad. A beautiful story line. That sweet moment where all that felt lost has been restored. A beautiful baby. There's simply nothing like a birth. A beautiful memory. Who doesn't want to be remembered?

On the other end of the spectrum... A well placed insult will always draw a tear. Those ones sting my very soul. A sacrilegious comment. The statements that just hurt the heart because they are so very wrong. A momentary lapse in judgment that takes an eternity to restore. A hammer hitting just the right nerve. Literally. All things that draw a tear.

Back to the song, and Grandma. As I watched her turn herself over to the ailments that would take her, the lyrics, "I guess the good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away..." ran through my mind. There will no longer be a Grandma. But somewhere in this beautiful life, a child was born. Somewhere someone is hurting, and somewhere someone is healing. Somewhere someone is dreaming, and somewhere someone is living their dream. It balances out. Maybe it's not the most effective coining of phrase, but the mere thought of it is worth the tears.

A Helmet to Take a Walk

Natasha Richardson had a fatal skiing accident this week. It's all over the news. It's a sad thing when a person dies young. She still had so much life ahead of her. At any rate, her accident is causing a buzz in various circles. Was it suicide? The autopsy has disproved that. Was she on drugs and just being reckless? The autopsy also disproved that. She was skiing. Being a young woman enjoying a sport. She had an accident that lead to a brain bleed. The brain bleed became more serious as time went on, and she died as a result. Now, the media are questioning if she should have worn a helmet on the ski slope to prevent this injury.


Here's where I have to say puh-leeze. A helmet? On a ski slope? When you are skiing for the fun of it? I can see this becoming a thing, though. Someday, skiers are going to have to carry a helmet along with their boots, poles, and skis to the slopes. Maybe helmet-wearing skiers will be the only ones permitted to ski on certain slopes. Maybe people who are without a helmet will not be allowed to ski at all. So, if I have to wear a helmet to snow ski, what's next?


"Sure, I'd love to take a hike with you. But I just don't have a hiker's helmet. You never know, I may trip." Or, "Okay little preschoolers, let's all put on our helmets so we can play Ring-Around-the-Rosie. We wouldn't want any of your little uncoordinated noggins to bonk each other!" Or, "Attention ballerinas! Ballerinas! It is now time for dress rehearsal, please put on your helmets so we can finish act 2 of Swan Lake. "

I understand that there are things that we do at high speeds and would create a scenario where a helmet would be appropriate. For instance: While riding a motorcycle. Perfect place for a helmet because concrete can do a lot of damage to an uncovered head at 35 mph. While riding a bike. Good place for a helmet because many people wreck on their bikes and bang up all parts of their bodies. Playing baseball . I don't know a single person who wants to have a baseball near their heads when that ball travels at 80 mph with frightening accuracy. I love helmets in all of these situations. I kind of think people who don't wear them under the circumstances I listed above are just asking for something horrible to happen.


But snow skiing? I just hope that the person who is thinking to implement such silliness has to have a majority vote before it can be enforced.

The ipod in my head

Maybe it's because I enjoy music. Maybe it's because I was raised listening to music. Maybe it's just because I'm quirky that way, but I honestly have an ipod set on shuffle running through my head. Ask anyone who works with me, I will find a song to go with nearly any situation.

I was chatting with my very good friend today. We discussed how our kids make us crazy. It's true, they do. On occasions when I want to be super frustrated with my kids' behavior, I have the phrase "and could you hold him twice as long when he makes his mistakes" run through my head. It usually helps keep my voice volume in check. I get told from older generations (often) that "your gonna miss this" time of your life. It's hard to see it when I'm in the middle of it.

So, hit your shuffle button with me for a minute.
"I let all these years go by wasted" (Carrie Underwood) may be the lyric that goes through your head when you realize that you have missed special moments in your life.
Who doesn't think that "Ice Cream" (Sarah McLaughlan) would just make everything better? And as my kids all crowd around me I think, "Girl(s) you are wearing me out. Wearing me out!" (Josh Gracin), but all they think is "You're the one that I want" (Grease).
So, "Suddenly I See" (KT Tunstall) that the best I can only hope for is that things "can only go up from here" (Shania Twain).
Some of you may have had the chance to fall "Accidentally in love" (Counting Crows) with your best friend, there is just so much less "Pressure" (Billy Joel) that way, don't you think?
And when I miss someone I want so badly to just be "where you are...and to see you smile" (Josh Groban).
I am not a fighter, so I just want to say, "Forget about it" (Allison Krauss) when the push comes to shove.
I guess most of all, though, I look at my life and think "I have been blessed" (Martina McBride) and "I thank God for you" (Sawyer Brown).

That's what hitting the go button on my shuffle works out to be. Maybe I should avoid blogging under the influence (of music).

It's an inevitable thing: music applies to life. That's the way those artists to perform it mean their music to be. Just think about it and I bet you'll find a song to fit your situation or mood. Or you could just be random as you go through your day and feel like your brain is just an ipod set to shuffle, too.

Loving What You Do

I spoke to a man the other day. He is good with numbers, understands space and the composition of things used to fill vacant space. He knows where to start projects and what each step will be along the way because his thought patterns are linear. This man is a civil engineer. He majored in it. Graduated in it. Is now a professional in it. He is very good at it. He doesn't love it. He loves teaching. Teaching doesn't pay what he wants to earn. Teaching courses in college didn't suit him. Here he is, ten years into his career thinking, "I'm good at what I do, why isn't that enough to make me love it?"

I have often wondered why it is that some are given talents that they don't really enjoy. Or they are given a talent that they love, but there's no way to make a living out of it. Or they love their talent and they make a living out of it, but at the expense of losing a personal life.

My civil engineer example seems common among those I know. I know lawyers who don't enjoy arguing, they just understand the judicial process extremely well and can compose and organize documentation like you wouldn't believe. I know doctors who have never really clicked with people and don't have the deep compassion a caregiver needs, but the science and cutting-edge technology fascinates them so they practice medicine. I know childcare workers who love kids, but can't stand to be around them, educate them, or calm them. These people don't love what they do. They must find satisfaction elsewhere.

I know so many people who are more talented than I can imagine. A man who acts, sings and is a decent dancer belongs on the stage. Except that the stage is a hard place to make a living. So, he is a soft wear designer by day and Othello by night. A woman has the ability to calm a crying child, soothe a sore muscle, ease a headache or rehabilitate an injury with her hands. Getting a massage is a luxury and when the economy is down, luxuries get cut from the budget. This woman's skill is for naught, so she clocks in and clocks out to make her money. These people have something they love to do, but the balance is off.

TV, Movies, Music. All full of people who have a talent. Something they have chosen to make their living. All of them must have something that draws us, as consumers, to watch or listen. Then you think about their personal lives. I wouldn't want the problems that come with being a professional in the public eye. Honestly, I don't even like to use a public bathroom. There are a few who sport this lifestyle that keep it together professionally and personally.

Not to appear totally cynical; a few and proud groups of people love what they do. If they didn't do it for a living, it would be their hobby. Hats off to you. Way to merge professional and personal in one cohesive block. In the mean time, I'll maintain my hobby that doesn't make me money, work like I don't have to, and wish I had talent enough to become something.