Some People Just Don't Like Me

I am a people pleaser. It's who I am. I came that way. And the older I get, the more people I know. The more people I try to make happy.

At work, there are nights when I know that being who I normally am will irritate those I work with. It makes it more complicated for me because I am naturally loud (pick yourself up off the floor, I know you are shocked) and make random allusions to different movies or songs. The few people who completely get me throughout my life (the handful of them know who they are), can't be around me all the time.

At any rate, I came to the conclusion over the last little while that some people just aren't going to like me. There is a doctor that I work with who just doesn't care for my conversation topics--I'm positive that she doesn't read my column, either. I think I must be attracted to her last nerve and I just harp on it by being myself. I, luckily, don't have to work with her anymore because I drove her to retire (or she didn't want to pay for malpractice insurance anymore...probably the latter of the two).

The thing is, there are people out there that I don't understand. Or that I don't appreciate. There are people who make, what I consider to be, bad choices. Or who have all the luck. Any of these are reasons to not like someone...only that doesn't work for me. I honestly don't know anyone that I don't like because I just don't like them. It's just an unfathomable thing to me. Not liking someone just to not like them.

So, I appreciate those of you who understand me and like me anyway. You are loved by me. And those who don't like me, it's something I'm just going to have to deal with because there are some people who simply won't like me. It's their loss though because I'm a nice person. And a fierce friend. And I'd love to be liked.

All You Had to Do

Once upon a time there was a woman who was great. She worked hard, she did things well, she set goals and achieved them. She took care of others, was kind, was patient. She was a good friend and people genuinely enjoyed her.

Then she got sick. She was very ill and couldn't go to work. She couldn't do the things she did well. None of the things on her to do list were accomplished. None of her neighbors were tended to by her. She didn't have the opportunity to be kind and patient as she didn't see others. She was just too sick.

This was the time when she realized how nice it would be to have a friend like she tried to be to others. She wished that those who enjoyed her would reciprocate her helpfulness to them. She sat there, feeling sick and wondering what it had been worth.

Meanwhile, at work, the people she worked with wondered what was going on. They thought she must be out for a while. Her neighbors noticed that the little things she did weren't happening, so they did them themselves and they just wondered why she'd stopped doing these things. They just hoped they'd see her soon.

So, here's the problem: there is a woman who could use a friend and help; there is friends and help just waiting out there to be of assistance. And all either of them has to do is ask.

Sometimes, all we have to do is ask. Ask about that friend from work whom you haven't seen for a while. Ask about that neighbor. Make a call. Drop by and check. It is our responsibility as members of the human race to care for each other. And all we really have to do is ASK.

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

My husband is ticked because his baseball team is out a player due to steroids. It got me thinking: what is it with all of these people using steroids to cheat? I think it's a tragedy that drug testing is even part of the athletic programs. If only these people didn't feel the need to cheat!

Cheating is one of those things that has been frowned upon for as long as I can remember. When I was very little, I wanted to win the board game I was playing, so I would try to cheat. My mother taught me from a tender age that cheating isn't the way to go about achieving. (I think that's actually what she said, "Cheaters aren't achievers!")

I was in grade school and had a kid talk to me during a test, the teacher told him to bring his paper to the front of the class so he could finish the test away from me, whom he was trying to cheat off of. (Never a good idea, by the way. It's not like I was getting awesome scores. Ever. I was a middle-of-the-pack kind of girl.) All through school, I had the pressure to be the best, but I was never tempted to cheat because the repercussions for such ranged from embarrassment to failing the class.

In college, I worked in the writing center and had to explain to the students I worked with that they needed to use quotes and cite sources properly or they would be cheating...or plagiarising. In some schools that was punishable by expulsion. In the real world, cheating like this is punishable by law. It's pretty serious.

In my real life (of boring-ness), I try to cut corners on projects or cheat my way through assignments and I always find that the result is not adequate. I make a blanket and try to cheat an easier way and always end up with a lower quality blanket than I would've had if I'd just spent the time.

And because I can't avoid one more obvious time when cheating is awful, just ask anyone who has had someone they love be unfaithful. That's all I'm going to say about that.

At any rate, Manny Ramirez (back to the baseball player)is going to be taking the summer off from sports for cheating and getting caught. There are so many more people who cheat and expect to get off without a penalty, but it never works out that way. Manny is going to lose money (in fines), lose face (in embarrassment), and lose fans (who hate cheaters, my husband included). It's tragic and not worth the consequences.

Thanks to the Thankless Job Worker

Many jobs are thankless. And a lot of people feel that they work in a thankless job. I am not one of those people. Maybe it's because I feel appreciated by small things. And I work with great people. Really great people. But, the garbage collector is a person I don't ever see to thank. Same with the mail carrier and my utilities workers. This week, I'm going to take a moment to thank teachers.

I am an advocate and product of the public school system. (I am choosing to ignore the onslaught of jokes that could be made here about my intelligence.) I think it is great. I think that the men and women who are educators, by and large, are people who wanted to teach. These people wanted to make a difference, to be around children, to see the potential in the future through the small people who will create it.

Everyone I know has at least one teacher who made a difference in his or her life. Every teacher has a student who has become something great. Teachers get the chance to see the fruits of their labors much much later. It's not a job of instant gratification. It's not a job for people who can't deal with commotion or silliness or forgetfulness. Teachers get the chance to watch as a student grasps a concept for the first time. Teachers get to watch progress and feel the joy of growth. Teachers get to love other people's children in a way that isn't creepy.

Lest I wax poetic and therefore, sugary enough to force a gag-reflex, I will just be brief: Thank you Teachers. I remember each and every one of you and could tell you a memory or a story for each...but I won't. Just thanks.

Life imitating art

I know that the saying is "Art imitates life" but I find that often, my life imitates art.

I suppose one of the reasons I love to read is because I love transporting myself to other times with other people. I love to imagine things in other places. I love to put myself into the situations the characters are in. And I would like to think that I would handle myself in a different manner than the heroes/heroines in the stories I read, but sometimes I wouldn't know better because of the time in history. Or sometimes the rules of the land wouldn't allow for me to behave in the manner of my choosing. It's a strange thing about books, isn't it.

Another artistic medium I relate to is visual media. I love movies and I'm a TV junkie... enthusiast, rather. I, once again, enjoy a world where people do things I would love to do if I didn't have the totally awesome life I have now. There are thrilling stories and a view from every angle. I can laugh at a funny saying and maybe adopt it so I can use it at an appropriate moment to make others laugh. Or I can struggle to believe any of the situations could actually happen--and be entertained by the delicious ridiculousness of the whole thing. Yum. But, these pieces of pop culture become part of conversation for me. Maybe that's part of what is so delicious to me.

At any rate, I find myself putting pieces of people I enjoy from art forms into who I am. It's part of my progression, I think. I enjoy a certain character trait, realize it in myself (or wish I had it) and try to emulate it. Or seeing a flaw in a character and wanting to never respond as that character does. And there you have it: my life imitating art. Hopefully not from every angle.